Thursday: The Best Day to Party

Want to have a crazy successful party? Throw it on a Thursday.

1. Good for you, the host -
Having a party on a Thursday completely eliminates the common host what-if-no-one-comes-because-no-one-likes-me-or-my-party-is-lame fear. A Thursday party is a win-win-win. If no one comes, you can blame it not on your own cool level, but on the fact that people have work the next day. If everyone comes... obvious win - even a double win because not only did you not worry about your coolity level dropping, but your c-levels just shot through the roof! People came to your party on a Thursday. A weekday. A not party day. Oh yeh.   

2. Good for the partyer -
There is no party that preps the ultimate partyer more than the Thursday night party. Their weekends are always booked, and the countdown to craziness starts Thursday night, so why not celebrate that it's almost time to party?! Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve are always waaay more fun than than Christmas Day or New Year's Day because the build-up is ironically more festivitous than the partying on the actual day. You follow? Let Thursday become Friday Eve. Partyers will thank you.

3. Good for the non-partyer -
The non-partyer:  occasionally goes to parties but stands in the corner and leaves early. We all know/are one. What you might not know is that these kids are usually the wittiest kids in the room and vital assets to any corner scene. How do you get the non-partyer to party? Throw your party on a Thursday. To the non-partyer, nothing is more attractive party-wise than a party that will likely be at lower noise level and end early; whether that is actually the case is irrelevant. The point is you got them there. Point.

You win. The partyer wins. The non-partyer wins. Win. Win. Win. Happy Party Day!
And all those that are neutral can party on Tuesday (see NR post, 5/22/2012).

@NewshReport

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Newshday Tueshday

I have never understood why Friday was such a big deal. My weekends are always filled with the other crap. But thanks to Rebecca Black, I don't have to argue too hard against Fridays. She made Friday about as cool as "that kid." Tuesday, on the other hand, is a solid day. I challenge you to look back on the Tuesdays in your life. Has anything overly dramatic or traumatic ever happened on a Tuesday? Odds are, no. Nothing really happens on Tuesdays.

To add to my argument, follow this logic:
After Tuesday, it's already Wednesday and you're over the hump.
Thursday is really Friday Eve.
And let's face it, we might as well rename the weekend Fridsatsunday. It's all a blur anyway.
Monday? Agree. Blah.
Then it's Tuesday again. Solid.

On top of all that, our staff recently found that 98% of people report a 100% chance of probably having a great Tuesday. These shocking results inspired us at The Newsh to re-brand the third day of every American's week Tueshday. Like Obama once/multiple times said, "Yes we can."

So happy Tueshday everyone! May it be a solid one.

Dear Mexico

I feel the most appropriate first post for The Newsh is to write a thank you letter I've been meaning to write for years now, but have no idea who to address it to. Perhaps through the vast expanse of the world wide web it will make it into the right hands.

Dear Mexico,

Without you, I would have had an empty hole in my heart and in my gut. Your tacos, burritos, enchiladas, tamales, rellenos, and basic corn tortilla chips fill me with so much solid, edible, and tasty happiness that I cannot speak more highly of you. Your ooey beany, meaty, and ocassionally cheesy goodness as it slides down my throat overtakes my ability to speak because 1. yes, my mouth and esophagus are busy with more amazing matters, but 2. because the mixture of asada, lettuce, salsa, guacamole, and cilantro are literally too good for words when I am chewing and swallowing you. Now even as I reflect on how ridiculous your food is, I've started salivating more than usual.

How did you do it, Mexico?! How!? How did you know that ground corn made into flat little cakes would make such a delightful wrap?! How did you know that beans, tomatoes, avocados, and cilantro would blend together to make some of the most exciting flavors that society would ever taste?! And how did you know that grilled pork, pollo, beef, and fish would fill the taco with so much happiness that minds would be blown!!! How did you know that, Mexico? How did you know that?

Again, I'm speechless. Because I'm thinking about tacos again.

Mexico, if no one has ever thanked you before, it is my honor to be the first. I will eat your food til the day I die. In fact, if I have the luxury of knowing when that particular day is, I'm going to fiesta right before I terminally siesta.

I love you. Te amo,
Newsh