Back to Business: Lettitor to Google

We would like to apologize for last week's lack of newsh updates. The Newsh Report was undergoing major relocation, but now that we have settled into our new home, we will continue to provide you the incredible newsh that you newshers deserve.

Back to Monday business:  the NR Editor and Chief's thank you letter, AKA thank you lettitor.
Today's lucky dog:  Google. And newshers, please feel free to share your own thoughts on the great Google here on the-newsh.blogspot.com or our facebook page.

Dear Google,

Surely I'm not the only one who has used you to verify that I was right in an argument, to check the holiday of the day (redundant? redundant?), or to search and stalk all others with my same name. The services you provide are far superior than most other things that could be considered superior. Your ridiculously simple layout and design is so appealing that one cannot help but type in the search bar questions like:

Who is the president of Finland?
Where is the nearest Best Buy?
What are the average scores of standarized tests?
When is the next solar eclispe?
How are you doing, Google?
Why am I not married?

When you yield over a million results, I cannot help but feel loved and only slightly overwhelmed. You didn't have to work that hard, Google! I just needed one simple answer. Always above and beyond. And on top of that, you provide pictures, maps, and videos for each and every question. Thank you for that, and like I might start always saying, "You can never have too many answers to or pics, maps, or vids for the same question." quote, Newsh, 6/4/12, 6:30AM PST.

Google, I'm smarter and better because of you - even smarter and better than most people. Non-googlers obviously don't understand the value of Google. They just don't use you like I do. Do they know who the president of Finland is? Probably not, but I asked you, and the top three results were:

1. "President of Finland - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia"
2. "Finland inaugurates 'a president of all people'"
3. "Busted! Finnish president's husband caught admiring more than just..." (Pulling. me. in. so. bad.)

Obviously, we can deduce from our results that non-googlers probably don't know who the president of Finland is. But I do. And yes, he does look like my grandfather. Thanks for asking.

I will never stop googling, Google. And I will never stop using that transitive verb and other varitations of it. Thank you Google. I hope to be able to stalk myself more fully on your website someday soon.

Sincerely a loyal Googler,

Newsh Christensen
Editor and Chief
The Newsh Report
newshme@gmail.com - that's right, Google, gmail. I'm that committed. I don't even want my own domain.